256 – Thinking out loud about violence against women

This discussion about violence against women, came about because it struck us that a couple of king hits against men led to new laws and curfews, especially in Kings Cross, meanwhile one woman a week in Australia is killed by a current or former partner and despite seemingly large Family Services networks, there has been no sudden cut through action of an “emergency” nature. Tonight’s conversation won’t solve the problem but we hope it will model the sorts of conversations we could and should all be having, so we can keep shining light on this issue.

Our guests are Advertising creative and adventurous travel guide, Sputnik, and burlesque performer and adult entertainment star, Nona Mona.

Firstly, this was going to be an all male panel because it has become very clear, especially in light of the coverage about the rape and murder of Melbourne comedian, Eurydice Dixon, that much commentary was about women protecting themselves and women being at fault for enticing men (or just being in their proximity). Therefore, having men gather to discuss what we can do to get our “team” back on track was the plan. But then, we saw friend of the program, Nona Mona, talking about the Pink Tax and some diabolical experiences while overseas, and we just had to invite her in.

So, Nona, why did you accept the invitation to be here? And what do you hope to achieve?

Sputnik, I have seen you write some elegantly direct words about calling out bad behaviour by males. Why did you say you’d move heaven and earth to be part of this?

I have a modest goal. I’d just like us to model a conversation in the hope our listeners will continue it around their kitchen tables, barbecues, and office lunch rooms. In a way, tonight’s discussion is my way of living up to the White Ribbon Australia oath – that I will stand up, speak up and act, to prevent men’s violence against women. (And many statistics tonight have come from White Ribbon).

I think this state of violence against women thrives because it is kept in the shadows and many voices throw shadows at it in the media.

Let’s start with ABC Adelaide. Michael Mills passed on some quotes after he was listening to 891 this morning. David Bevan talking to folk about domestic violence, and new SA laws.
“I’m 85, and I’ve never known anyone in a domestic violence situation…” and a couple of others, with a similar bent. The problem?
I’ve not seen it, therefore it can’t be real!
Is there a case for False Bias to be made in not giving as much time to these points of view?

There is a really dark aspect to much violence against women, and that is the fact that it is often carried out by people they know. One in Three women have experience physical or sexual violence perpetrated by someone known to them. And one in four Australian children are exposed to domestic violence. However, a colleague today was at a baby shower on the weekend where male and female police officers were bemoaning the fact that many of their callouts to domestic violence are to the same homes. Is there anyway we can listen to their frontline people and take action?

We have a study showing a 40% spike in family violence after sport events, consistently, with NRL, AFL, etc. http://theconversation.com/whether-teams-win-or-lose-sporting-events-lead-to-spikes-in-violence-against-women-and-children-99686

The poem we opened our show with tonight, was written by Carmel from WA. She read it out on ABC Radio and it was heard by a friend of this program, Michael Mills, who suggested it would be a worthy inclusion for our discussion. In particular, the line that reads:

Not all men will listen, not all men understand,
You tell me you are not all men, a verbal sleight of hand.
I can look at you and love you and yet still be afraid,
While so much deadly violence still seems to be man-made.
Do not usurp my story, don’t tell me what to do,
This is not about all men, don’t make it about you.

My reading since Eurydice’s rape and murder has argued that violence against women BEGINS with disrespect towards women.

I get a regular glimpse into the dark side of mankind when you share your array of dick pics and abuse, Nona. I want to discuss this with you because YES, just like an actor you have a persona in the public sphere and it is one that oozes sensuality, but also like and actor, you have your private life. Why can’t men respect the boundaries?

Do you get responses when you forward their comments to their spouses?

Sputnik, in your world of advertising, we know sex sells. Have we been blind to the ramifications of that messaging – are the chickens coming home to roost?

Are their any other tropes in advertising that are unhelpful

“Pink tax” and how identical items are priced higher for women than men.

Nigel Dobson-Keeffe challenges the panel to pick the fake story from three stories from South Australia’s past.

South Australian Register March 1888
WOMAN’S SUFFRAGE.
TO THE EDITOR
Sir— As an Editor you naturally-make the nearest approach to omniscience possible to mankind while in this vale of tears. Can you tell me how humans of the male gender, have more right to the ballot than have women? Appealing to the essential equities and verities, where do adult men acquire a right to elect representatives of themselves with rightful authority and power to make laws for the government of adult women? The only right of the men to do these things is the right of brute force, but might does not constitute right. Adult men have not and cannot have any right to vote which the women do not possess. Grant that the woman is to take the second place in marriage, does that prove that she is to have no status at all in the body politic !The idea only requires statement In order to reveal its absurdity. Wake up ye men! Give account of yourselves. Whence your right to rule the women without their voice and consent? Brothers, women do not blame you. You have been thoughtless concerning women’s rights. With the best of intentions you have not thought of the wrong you were perpetrating in denying woman a voice in the making of the laws which materially, influence her life and happiness from the cradle to the grave. …

The Express and Telegraph 1875
WIFE-BEATING.
It is a melancholy fact in connection with, our boasted civilization that the crime of cruelly treating women and children by their husbands and fathers is manifestly on the increase in England. Every mail brings us the records of-the most brutal -and savage assaults of this kind and for one case that comes before the Courts and is reported there are 20 or 50 endured in silence.
…
It is admitted that this particular form of crime is greatly on the increase, especially in the mining and manufacturing districts in the North of England, and social reformers are trying to account for its prevalence. It is said to be closely connected with the large wages which this class of workmen are now making. Having plenty of money, they indulge in strong drink, and it is strongly suspected that many of the drinks indulged in by the working classes are frightfully adulterated by deleterious substances which produce a maddening effect on the brain. We do not know how much truth there
may be in this statement, but that the increase of crimes of violence against women has kept pace with the increase of wages amongst a certain class of laborers, appears to be a well proved fact. Such men have their fancies and their hobbies, which, unfortunately, lie outside their families, and which are more to them than the claims of either wife or children. But the question now engaging the minds of thoughtful Englishmen is how to put down this plague spot in the social life of England.

The Advertiser October 1941
Pay Equality for Women not Favoured In First Gallup Poll
In the first Gallup poll to be taken to Australia, the question I put was:— “Women’s pay— Do you, favour equal pay for men and women doing the same work?” This was submitted to a representative cross-section of the community and responses showed that nearly 60 per cent, of those inter viewed did not favor equal pay for women. Only 33 per cent, were in favour the idea and 8 per cent, were undecided. Apart from the undecided people, equality of pay was supported by four out of 10 men and five out of every 10 women interviewed. Opposition was strongest by labouring people, among whom relatively few women work. A common reason given for a “no” answer was that “woman’s place is in the home”. Some thought that women were temperamental and physically not so suited for wage earning. Those in favor of equality usually based their decisions on the arguments of equal rights and the need for protecting wage standards.