217 – Of love and reason

Done in the style of Little Red Riding Hood for the Cardinals Book Club.

https://twitter.com/TheAdelaideShow/status/921866035459846144

K (female):Definitely [tinder creates the illusion of another one coming along]. We’re a society addicted to instant gratification… constantly on the hunt for something better. Sigh and not just an Adelaide thing. 

G (female):At 40 + there’s often baggage and lots of compromising. Many single, successful people both male and female find compromising a hard pill to swallow. Plus past experiences can influence how you react to certain things. By 40 most people I imagine would have had several relationships that obviously didn’t work – that’s quite a dossier and big shoes to fill. I’m not surprised. I have a friend who specialises in couples therapy. He is single and can’t retain a relationship. What does that tell you. Do what I say not what I do.
Leila: That’s really what is happening and the old ‘left it too late’ – we used to only know people in a confined geographic area and ‘made do’
G again: True, but also when you’re younger you’re experiences are fewer so your expectations aren’t as high. You either grow together and stay together or you part, but then you end up a 40s+ statistic and don’t want to compromise. Is searching farther afield going to make a difference. People are the same the world over-isn’t that what they say. The grass isn’t always greener.
Leila: I agree on all you’re saying – if I knew then what I know now, I would still be married!
G again: It’s never too late though we were at dinner last night with a girlfriend 70 this year and her new friend who is also 70 -knew each other years ago at uni. Lovely guy. Hope they enjoy each other’s company and it works for them.
A (male): Leila, that’s why I said spread your wings! Nearly all my 40+ male friends (myself included of course) are marrying women from different cultures. It is quite wonderful, not only do you do the usual dating stuff but you get learn a new language and embrace a whole new world that you never knew existed. I can’t recommend it enough … you need to go on more adventures to exotic places and see what happens 🙂
M (male): Having watched my step mother marry my father 6 Nov 1974 then divorce him a few years later then remarry after 19 years then divorce him again 40 years after the first time at their respective ages of 68 and 84, saying that she “needs to be strong”. It’s not all about men. I think that both men and women need a lot of help in learning how to communicate with loving respect, empathy and compassion.

D (male): Haven’t tried it yet but I hear Social8 works for some people.

K (female):I think the fear of commitment is mutual, otherwise, those beautiful ladies would have a nose for a committed man ???? just an opinion from my experience, when I was busy establishing my office, committing was the last thing I would ever think of. This always lead me to chose partners I know deep inside they are temporary.
Leila: My girlfriends might well agree and they probably wouldn’t argue, they didn’t realise how hard it would be…

D: Sweetheart I ‘v been married for 47 years and don’t know why you all want this! Of course I’m kidding ????.Remember it doesn’t come easy though and I think a lot of issues with women are control issues on both sides.It doesn’t get easier ever, yes there is someone forever in your corner ( hopefully) but privately challenges you every step of the way .” I’m just trying to protect you “, I’m just trying to save you the hurt” etc.

Port Augusta Dispatch June 1900
SIZE AFFECTS WOMEN’S TEMPERAMENTS
If a man’s first wife has been tall, depend upon it his second one will not be a dwarf, says a man who claims to have studied the matter, It has long been a matter of general belief, says the Family Doctor, that big men usually fall in love with small women, and vice versa ; but for all that marriages between giants are by no means uncommon. Most of these unions are, however, mainly for show purposes, and probably in many instances the tall husband, if he had not been influenced by some such consideration, would have chosen a bride much smaller his size. Dwarfs are also likely to marry tall women, but they do not run in the same extremes as the giants do in their love affairs. Bookshop “skinny women” are not, however, generally credited with inspiring the tender passion, except, perhaps in the ample breasts of the living obese, but in these eases it may safely be assumed that the love is seldom mutual. To a somewhat modified extent the rule about big and little may be said to apply to the feelings entertained by women towards men ; but in these cases for the present, at all events—woman’s choice is limited, since she is obliged by custom to wait for what may come, whereas a man is free to pick and choose (perhaps) as lie likes ; doubtless, however, this is another one of woman’s disabilities that will be remedied in the future.

News March 1950
Say women stay single by choice
Four prominent Adelaide people said today most of the women who remained single did so because they had given themselves to a career, or a certain way of life with which marriage would interfere.
They were commenting on a statement made by father of five, Dr. Lindsey Batten, a London doctor. Addressing an education conference on Sunday Dr. Batten said, "Many of the best women
remain single because “fools of men” take the chocolate box, the Hollywood film, and the fashion plate as the standards of beauty. An Adelaide educationist said Dr. Batten’s statement was too
sweeping. Many fine women felt they had a mission in life other than marriage. Their ideals kept them single. They devoted themselves to their chosen career.

News February 1952
Women: What surplus?
“What surplus of women?” said some attractive Adelaide girls when asked to comment on the latest vital statistics for South Australia and the fact that today is the day that makes it a Leap Year.  Figures show that, although Australian men outnumber women by 9,000, South Australia is the only State where-women are in the majority-by 3,000. About half of the Adelaide women interviewed today said they found it hard to believe there was a surplus of women in this State. Many thought the reverse was the case. Dark-haired Miss Dolores Sciberras, of Adelaide, an usherette at a city theatre was amazed when she heard about the 3000 surplus of women. She said, I really can’t believe it. Every day I see men in fours and fives attending picture shows, but I rarely see a girl unescorted.

This week we have local duo Hartway returning to the show with their smooth, jazz-infused house music. Conor and Jack joined forces in 2016 with the vision of creating soulful electronic music mixed with organic elements. The song I’m playing for you this week, Warm Rocks, shows a great example of these organic elements with a beautiful rolling percussion created by the use of what sounds like those rocks people use for hot stone massages. Maybe that’s part of the reason why this song gives me such a relaxing vibe. The rolling texture contrasts beautifully with the more glitchy main beat and seductive sax melodies. It really reminds me of some of the textures Shlohmo creates in his music.

Hartway’s other influences include the likes of FKJ, Flight Facilities and Touch Sensitive and their lives shows feature their signature sax, keys and bongos. Since being crowned as the 2017 winners of the Fresh Producer’s Series, they are living up to every expectation of having “enormous promise”, as dubbed by the likes of local legends Luke Million and Oisima. Hartway’s feel-good single ‘Beyond featuring Lesley Williams’ saw high radio rotation and landed in Fresh’s Vital 25 chart for six consecutive weeks in a row.

I highly recommend checking out the rest of their EP ‘Motions’ as it is one of those records where all the songs work really well together and you can just chuck it on and listen straight through. It is a really consistent and polished product. In saying that, Warm Rocks is probably the most unique song on the EP and I think that’s part of the reason why it jumped out to me on first listen.

If you want to see Hartway live, then there is one AMAZING opportunity coming up as they are apart of an absolute monster lineup at a festival called Root Down. It is on the 28th of October at the Old RAH on North Terrace and features so many of Adelaide’s best acts including Luke Million, Timberwolf, Bjear, Donnarumma, Dyspora & Playback 808… plus many more.